Sweet Abandon
by lindseyleprosy
Summary: Attention: This is after Season 6, so expect Shenny to be mentioned. Max's "raven-haired gf" mentioned in Ch. 2, is NOT Jenny, FYI.
1. A Brief History Of Shane

There are lots of things Shane loves about girls. She loves the way the walk, the tight jeans they somehow manage to stuff themselves into, the way they make moon-eyes at her. And not just some girls. _All _of them. No one can resist Shane's pull. Well, except for Lara Perkins. She got _nothing _from that girl. What a weird lesbian.

As Shane once said, she's the center of the universe. Of course, she said that about her place on OurChart. Little did she know, she really is. Every West Hollywood lesbian has either slept with her or wanted to at one point or another. When Shane enters a room, girls run out crying.

Once up on a time, Shane stopped for no one. She had stalkers and haters galore, but she never let it stop her. Each escapade was forgotten as soon as it was over. Better said, Shane loved the _chase_. Once she caught the girl, it really wasn't worth sticking around.

The few times Shane _did _stop, disaster occurred.

Case in point: Cheri. Carmen. Paige. You can count the girls she actually stayed with on one hand. Even then, she fucked it all up.

Until she met me.


	2. Sunday Mornings, Sweet As Molasses

I met Shane on a Sunday. I know this because I was supposed to be in Church, listening to my father preach his endless sermon about something-or-other. In West Hollywood, movie theatres are more common than God's House, as are nonbelievers. So even though it was a tiny church, smushed in between an apartment building and Asian Cuisine, it was never full. So my father was sure to notice his only daughter had stepped out in the middle of his rambling.

Anyway, I stepped out into the sweltering heat of West Hollywood and shaded my eyes with my hand. Since the sun was in the other direction, I looked like an idiot. So I slapped my hand back to my side and jumped onto the stair railings. My feet swung back and forth as I observed the world outside.

A group of girls walked by.

I had seen them everywhere. From fancy restaurants to down-and-out bars (in which I had no business being, my father said.) There was only ever one guy with them. Max was his name. He had a cute little goatee and a pretty raven-haired girlfriend. I watched and admired from a distance as he gave her a piggyback ride. Cute. Everything I wanted in a guy seemed present in Max.

There was one other girl I always took notice of. She was a bit on the adrogynous side, with well-fashioned black hair that swung down around her face. She seemed to have a permanant cigarette and frown attached to her person. In my father's word, she left a lot to be desired.

She turned and stared straight at me. Shane. Shane was staring at me. Oh fuck. I averted my eyes, shy and coy. Scared.

Shane winked at me, gave a little half-grin, and I knew I was next on her list. Her next chase. That one look told me all I needed to know. Some stuff I didn't.

But I knew. After that look, I knew that she craved me like a pregnant woman craves ice cream with pickles.

And I knew that I wanted her too.

Ha! The preacher's daughter is gay.

Funny thought.

Made me laugh.

But somehow, every Sunday after that, I made sure to walk outside and catch Shane's half-grin, burning with desire.


	3. Hands In Pockets

On the fifth Sunday that I walked outside to watch Shane, she approached me.

Well, actually she more beckoned for me to approach HER.

"Hey. C'mere. C'mon I won't bite." I could tell she was struggling not to say "much". So I walked to her, shuffling and looking down at my feet when I reached her. The rest of her group had already went inside Asian Cuisine.

"What's your name?" she asked, reaching out to touch my face. I shivered, as if we were standing in the middle of an iceberg and not California.

"Lu-Lucy."

"Well nice to meet you Lulucy." she cracked a smile that poisoned me into giggling like a schoolgirl. "How about you come hang out with me and the girls?"

Yes! Lucy say "of course!"

"My father wouldn't like it if I did." Stupid Lucy.

"Well, I doubt he'll notice. I'll have you back out here by 11." My heart pounded in my chest. Shane. Would. Have. Me. Back. By. 11.

"Okay, then." I stammered, peering up at her through layers of brown hair.

We walked off to Asian Cuisine, me praying every two seconds that I wouldn't get caught.

Shane had me back by 11 alright. She had me sitting on the porch steps at a quarter til eleven. A part of me was distressed that I'd left church grounds during service. The other part was screaming for Shane to come back and whisk me away again.

That night I could hardly get to sleep. I tried calming myself and ridding myself of thoughts. But there was Shane, pervading every waking moment with her humor and beauty and sexy smile.

I woke with the sudden need for a haircut.


	4. What! I Needed A Haircut!

The Yellow Pages quelled fear of split ends. Right there, in the West Hollywood directory, was Shane's new hair salon.

They'd rebuilt Wax after it was burned to the ground. Shane had taken over and pretty much become the management.

I left a note for Dad on the fridge. "I'm going for a haircut." I raced out to my car in the sweltering heat. I was surprised the sun hadn't melted my little Lemon. The drive to Wax was harrowing at best. I kept sweating, nervous and hot, cranking the AC as high as it could go. What if she didn't want to see me again? What if I was too - I don't know - _Christian _for her or something? I recounted last time she'd walked by the church. That fateful Sunday, I feared I'd screwed everything up. I'd giggled like a schoolgirl, given my father as an excuse not to go to lunch with her, [what kind of adult still lives with their Dad??] and stammered halfway through the date. _Date_. Was it really a date?

I pulled into the semi-parking lot and looked around. The skating ramp was in place as usual, as were the skateboarders. Music was coming from inside - a pulsing, pounding beat that hurt and comforted my ears at the same time.

Getting out of the car was harder than I thought it should be. My legs were shaking as I opened the door and stepped out, and I had to use the door as support. I kept repeating to myself, "Lucy, calm down. It's just a haircut."

I made it through the door and to the desk. "Hi," I managed to choke out. Shane craned her head to look up at me, and gave me that coy smile I love. She mouthed a "Hey." I couldn't help thinking,_ I love Shane's mouth. I want Shane's lips touching mine._ She walked out from behind the desk and escorted me to the chair.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"W-what?" I stammered, thinking there was something sexual in what she'd said.

"What do you want me to do with your hair?" she ran her fingers through my curls as if to show me.

"Just - just the split ends, please."

"Okay." I felt her hands leave my hair and heard a clinking noise across the room. A moment later she was back, and I heard a snipping.

"All done."_ No. That's not fair. Too soon. I want more._ "I can wash your hair for you. . ."

"Yes. Please. Thanks."

Shane turned the chair around so my back was to the sink. A minute later warm water was running through my hair, and Shane's hands were rubbing in shampoo.

I closed my eyes and slipped into a daydream.

_Shane moved out from behind the chair, walked towards me, head dipped towards me. She crawled into the chair, knees on either side of me, and bent her head down. One kiss, two kisses, a whole make-out right there for the world to see. She moved her hands up, enveloped my face. Trailed her fingers down my cheek. Back up._

"Ouch." shampoo suds were in my eyes. Shane sat up.

"Oh. Sorry." Oh my God. It was real! My daydream wasn't a daydream! Shane had really kissed me! "Are you okay?"

"I'm. . .fine." I supported myself on my elbows and rose up to kiss her again. "My eyes aren't going to explode or anything. Are they?"

"No, here. Let me wash that out for you. Here," she turned the chair around and had me sit up and lean into the sink. Shane sprayed my eyes with cold water. I sat up and rubbed them dry. "All better?"

"All. . .better." I breathed, kissing her neck. "So, how much do I owe you?"

"No, Lucy, it's on the house. In fact, if I could take you out to dinner, that could be your payment."

"I'd love to." It was the first time I hadn't babbled incoherently when talking to her. I'd heard so much about Shane - from my father, from her many conquests - to know that she'd "fuck me then forget me" as one upset one-night-stand of her's had cried.

But, somehow, I was going to make her stay.


	5. A Date With Dad's Devil

I made it my job to learn as much about Shane as was possible before our date. After I left Wax, I got on my cellphone and called my friend Mandy. We met at her house.

"Oh, yeah. I know Shane." the name rolled off of Mandy's tongue like it was nothing special. "She's quite the. . .maverick." Mandy knew Shane. _Really _knew her.

"Did she ever, like, stay, with anyone?"

"You _like _her." Mandy poked me in the stomach, which set off a giggle.

"No."

"Yes." Were we really going to play this Kindergarten game?

"No."

"Yes."

"Maybe."

"Yes."

"Yes, okay? Yes yes yes. But you can't say _anything_."

"Scout's honor. Okay, let me see," Mandy tapped her chin as if she was really thinking about it. "She had a relationship with Carmen."

"What'd she look like?"

"Thin. Long brown hair. Latina. Beautiful. There was Cherie Jaffe, who came before Carmen. She was married, though. It didn't work out too well. Then Paige."

"What did _she _look like?"

"Obsessed, much?" Mandy laughed, her eyebrow raised. "Okay. Paige totally equaled Amazon Woman. Tall, blond. Scary. I've seen her around."

"Who else?"

"Molly. Oh, dearie me, Molly. Molly is Phyllis Kroll's daughter. She was straight when she came to town - but not for long. Do you wanna know what she looks like too?"

"No, no, that's okay."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at my house, I showered, put my hair in curlers, and tried to find a good outfit. I called Mandy again for help.

"Wear something sexy - but not slutty. Something cute but not 'Little Miss Muffet'." Great. I personally owned Little Miss Muffet's clothing line. "Then, pick the _least _innocent."

"Okay. I have, let's see, a little black dress - "

"Yes! That's it. Perfect. Sexy yet shy. Not too much, not too little. Leave stuff to Shane's imagination, it makes her go wild."

"Okay. Hold on." I put the phone on speaker and pulled the dress off the hanger. I let my towel drop to the floor and pulled the dress over my head. My reflection said exactly the same thing as Mandy: perfect. The deep black of the dress contrasted with my pale skin, like a burn on a china doll. I swiveled. The dress floated over my hips in a revealing yet protective way. It was - there wasn't a word for how it looked.

"Hey, Lucy? You do know Shane just wants to fuck you, right?" the little voice floated into my ear, tempting me into shouting, denying, confessing.

"Mandy, that's not fair." I snapped, bending down to pull on some black high heels.

"Come down to earth, honey. You know it is fair. And it is true."

"You know what? I don't need this right now. I'm gonna make it work."

"When she's crying Jenny in her sleep, you'll see."

"Who's Jenny?" _Click_. _Doo-Doo-Doo_. _If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again_. "Hey!" Why was she so angry?

---------------------------

I texted Shane and told her to pick me up two blocks from the house, so my father didn't see her. I told him I was going to Mandy's to spend the night, then rushed outside.

As I walked to the point we'd agreed to meet, I wondered who Jenny was and why Mandy was so angry and if my Dad would find out and if Shane really liked me or if I was just one of her little Forget-Me-Soons and hoped not.

To put it simply, I thought about anything and everything to keep me from peeing my pants in anticipation.

When I arrived, Shane was standing by the passenger side of the car, holding the door open for me. She greeted me with a kiss and a stare at my ass as I crawled into the car.

"So, where are we going?"

"You'll see."

-------------------------

We were supposed to go to dinner, but that plan went all to hell when Shane pulled into the parking spot.

I climbed into the driver's seat, sat in Shane's lap, wrapped my arms around her tiny doll body.

It got heated pretty fast, and Shane reclined the seat. There, on top of her in an empty parking lot, I could have made love to her. But I remembered being dedicated to the teen magazines that Mandy got each month [my father wouldn't let me have them] and they all said the same thing: Not too much, not too little.

So I let her kiss me and get safe in her thoughts of what was happening, but when I felt her fingers inching my dress up, I climbed back into my seat and gave her a coy smile. If I was going to be a tease, draw it out, make her want me until I thought she deserved me, I was going to do it right, no matter how bad I wanted to let her do anything she wanted.

I knew what she thought. It was almost like I could read her mind. Shane was thinking that I had stopped her because I was super-concerned about my virginity, as it is a High Christian Standard.

Pfft. I wasn't even a virgin. Oh, my darling Shane, if only you knew how hard it is to restrain myself.

"Oh, shit."Shane rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"What?" I asked, leaning in to wipe a lipstick stain off of her face. My lipstick. The thought made me want to climb back into her lap.

"We missed our reservations. I guess you'll just have to come home with me and I'll fix you something there."

"Oh, really?" Make her think you'll turn her down, make her want to convince you. All while you're trying to suppress the girlish giggling that's rising like bile in your throat.

"Yes. I promise. I'll just make food. I won't get you out of your comfort zone again." I felt a horrible guilt in my stomach, the need to confess the hard-to-get was just to get her to stay in case I went home with her.

"Again? When did it happen before?"

"Just now. I mean, you stopped me from. . ."

"Because my friend Mandy told me that you'll Fuck-Me-Then-Forget-Me." I breathed it all out, fast and nervous, breath hitching. _There, it's out. Don't you feel better now? NO!_

"Mandy? Mandy Chastine? Where would she get that crazy idea?"

"You did it to her."

"But. She's not. She wasn't. Not someone I." She paused then started again. "You're special." I could tell she was trying to make this right, trying to make me believe the truth.

"You sure do have a way with words," I laughed, which made her relax.

"Alice calls me Yoda."

"Whose Alice?"

"She's my friend. A really good friend."

"Oh."

A pause followed, Shane exhaled long and loud, and looked me in the eye.

"Lucy, I swear to you that I'm not going to - what did your friend call it? - "fuck you then forget you." I like you. Believe me, I won't forget a girl like you. I'm not quite the person I used to be - well, not when I met Mandy, at least. I had this big fake epiphany: I can fill a void in my heart that's longing for true love with lots of little hookups. But it didn't work out. After I met a certain someone, I vowed to change. My girl quota has gone way down since then. Only people I like. I've only screwed up once or twice, and believe me, it's a World Record for Shane. I like you, and I'm pursuing you because of that, not because I just want to have sex with you one night and never talk to you again."

"Really?"

"Scout's Honor."


	6. The Tattoo That Broke My Heart

Shane's place was full of music just as Wax had been. As we tripped through the door, both of us giggling [which made me feel a lot better] Shane hit the "on" button on her radio.

_She's the kind of girl who likes to do it stand up  
From the back or anyway you want it, love  
From the top if you keep it going all night  
You're as good as the next for a fun time_

This song was a lot quieter and slower than what Shane had been listening to at Wax. It was the second verse before I recognized it.

_Lookie here like a rabbit on the dancefloor  
Party girl like you comin' in the back door  
C'mon boy, give it good, give an encore  
Never leave a hungry sister begging one more_

Garbage.

Shane distracted me from the lyrics with a kiss. Her lips were pretty much cocaine for the addict.

"My dad thinks I'm staying at Mandy's but what if she calls him and tells him that I'm a lesbian and then he'll get his torches and pitchforks and mob together and -" I rushed through the sentence, then struggled to catch my breath when she interrupted me.

"C'mon, you can stay one night away from home." Shane whined. I had it in mind to argue, but my heart was just screaming, "SHUT UP LUCY!"

She picked me up and carried me backwards to the bed. I was guessing that by some bizarre twist of fate we'd land on the floor, but luckily we fell right in the middle of the bed.

Shane moved her hand up my neck and brushed my hair out of my face. Kissing her was like a dream. I smiled deep inside as she held my body against hers, hand slipping up my dress.

Afterwards, I looked Shane over as she slept, rolled over on her stomach, arms splayed out across the bed, mouth open. I kissed her in random spots: her back, her arms, the back of her neck. As I brushed the hair away from her neck so I could kiss it, I saw a tattoo.

As far as I could make out, it was some kind of Native American matrimonial tattoo. Mayan, if I were to guess. I knew where it came from. According to Mandy, Shane and Carmen had gotten these tattoos a few months before their wedding. Well, _almost _wedding.

I traced it.

I sat up and put my head in my hands. Exhaled loudly.

I imagined Shane looked at it in the mirror every morning and missed Carmen.

I lay back down and look at the ceiling.

I bit my lip and tried to erase it from my memory.

I imagined Shane underneath me.

I imagined her imagining I was Carmen.

I stole careful glances at the Sleeping Beauty beside me.

I got up and padded to the bathroom. Sat on the sink and stared hard at myself. I was pretty, not gorgeous, but definitely not ugly. Why would Shane have to imagine Carmen when she was making love to me?

I went back into the bedroom, crawled under the covers, arranged Shane's hair so the tattoo was hidden.

I woke Shane up.

"Hhuhh?" she rubbed her eyes slowly.

"Make love to me."

"I won't argue with that."

She scooted over me and ran her fingers down my side. I trembled. "That tickles." with a grin, she kissed me from my forehead to my toes, making ecstasy shoot back and forth through my body.

"Shane, I've loved you ever since I saw you. That Sunday, at Church. When you first walked by." She didn't acknowledge my words, just kept running her fingers through my hair as she looked down at me and smiled.

A long silence followed, with the two of us just looking into each other's eyes, each just being happy and close.

"Who's Jenny?" I said after a long, long time.

"What?" I could see pain and surprise in her eyes.

"Who's Jenny?"

"How do you know about Jenny?" she sat up and looked down at me.

"Mandy told me you said Jenny in your sleep."

"Goddammit, Mandy." Shane ran her fingers through her hair. "Jenny was just - she was just a girl I used to know. She, um, was a friend, and she died."

"Oh, Shane, baby. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have even asked."

"No, it's fine. You didn't know." She kissed my cheek and lay back down beside me.

We slept like that for the longest time, with my arm around Shane, apologizing with my touch and my hot breath on the back of her neck. We slept when the sun filtered through the window and bathed our faces in yellow, as all suns do. We slept when the phone kept ringing and leaving messages from Alice.

We didn't wake up until the sun disappeared and roused our exhausted bodies into another show of passion.

I left a message on my father's answering machine saying that I'd decided to spend the night at Mandy's again, I'd be home tomorrow.

We made love all night and the next morning until Alice decided to ring Shane's doorbell at 9 A.M.

**Note: Lyrics are from Garbage's Sex Never Goes Out Of Fashion. When Lucy says "Garbage." she isn't saying the song is trashy, she's stating the band name. Just so I don't get hate over it.**** Lyrics and song belong to the band Garbage, Sex Never Goes Out Of Fashion is written by . . . well, whoever it's written by.**_  
_


	7. Poker Night

"Ugh. I'll be right back, babe." she called me _babe_. I thought I was going to die right there, it felt like my heart got too big for my chest. She crawled out of bed, rolling out on the floor like kids do in cheesy movies. I listened to her pad through the house, open the door, and greet Alice.

"Hey, Shane. Uh-oh, who is it this time?" _This _time? I thought Shane said she'd changed. I heard a few muffled consternations, then: "Haha! Just kidding. Ha!" I could totally tell the false tone, on account of Alice being 10 times louder. I also knew she was projecting her voice towards me, leaning in towards the door as she said it.

I got up and followed Shane's trail to the kitchen. Shane was slumped over the table, obviously exhausted. I grinned, not afraid to show how pleased I was that I was the cause of her sleepiness.

"The _Christian Girl_?" Alice squealed, and I raised my eyebrows. She'd given me a name? "Wow. Uh, Shane, what can I say, you're _really _good."

"Oh, don't give her all the credit. I've been a lesbian for a long, long time." I drew out the word long, both times. I walked over to the table and slid gracefully into a chair. Ruffled Shane's messy spikes.

"Hi, Christian Girl." Alice gave a little wave.

"It's Lucy, Al." Shane raised her head slightly, as if it was a great burden, and turned to face me. "_You're_ Lucy."

"You got that right." I smiled, content, and pecked her on the cheek. "But, I got to go. I'll see you later, Shane." I half-raised out of my chair.

"Don't go," Alice said, her smile lapsing into a frown in two seconds. I sat back down.

"So, Al, what's the problem?"

"Um, nothing, just that Tina and Bette are having their little Poker Night tonight, and I thought maybe you should know a few . . . hours . . . in advance. Just so you, you know, _know_."

"And she calls _you _Yoda?" I giggled shamelessly.

"Everyone's going to be there," Alice continued on, "Helena, Kit - "

"No, Al, not _everyone_." Shane's voice was muffled, since she'd slumped back down onto the table, cradling her head in her arms. Her tone was that of a severely depressed and wronged person, one who's pretty much given up on "everyone's getting together".

"I'm sorry." Alice closed her eyes for a moment, breathed in deeply, exhaled, then headed towards the door. "Well, just wanted you to know, Shane."

"You don't have to go - " Shane started, but Alice waved it off.

"No, no, I can see you're busy." And with that, she was gone. I waved forlornly at the door, thinking somehow she could see it. I really liked Alice. She was quirky.

"Shane, I really should get going. I have to go home. I promised my father, and he's just. He shouldn't be alone too long."

Shane nodded, stood up, gave me a kiss, which almost led us right back to the bedroom.

"So," Shane whispered, running her hand down my arms, which in turn caused goosebumps. "Do you want to go to Poker Night with me?"

I don't think Shane ever asked anyone besides Carmen to play Poker with her friends. Lucy, you _have _to accept!

Totally forgetting that I had no idea how to play Poker, I said:

"I'd love to."

--------------------------

Shane drove me back to the place we'd met two nights before, only it didn't seem that long.

"So, you don't have your own car?" she asked, trying not to sound too suspicious.

"No. My dad won't let me, um, have one. He's afraid of . . . I don't know what. He's just a paranoid man."

"Why do you still live with your dad?"

I looked at my lap and murmured, "Maybe that's a topic for another day."

"Sure, sure. Anything you want."

"Anything?" I nudged her. "How about a pony?"

"Hmm, not sure I can do that."

"Then how about a goodbye kiss?"

"Now _that _I can do."

---------------------------

I slipped into the house and called out, "Daddy? I'm home," then proceeded to go into the kitchen and fix a pot of coffee. I wandered around the house looking for my father, then came upon him in the living room, sitting in his chair, sleeping peacefully. I didn't want to disturb him, so I went back to the kitchen and made some eggs and sausage for his breakfast.

He woke up eventually, and wobbled into the kitchen in his "I'm-an-old-man-pity-me" way.

"Hey, daddy? I just came back for a little bit, I'm going back out with Mandy tonight for Bible Study."

"What time you leavin'?" he huffed, as I laid out a big plate of eggs sunny-side up, sausage patties, and buttered toast.

"I think around eight." Thinking about it, I worried that maybe that wouldn't be enough time to see Shane. "Or maybe seven. We'll just have to see."

---------------------------

I went back to our favorite meeting place at seven-thirty.

I slipped into the car as if it was exactly what I told my father I would do.

When we got to Shane's, Alice was there waiting for us on the front porch.

We went inside to wile away the half hour before the Poker game. While Shane was off changing her clothes, I smiled at Alice.

"So, I'm the Christian Girl?"

"Yeah, um, when Shane didn't know your name, she called you The Girl At The Holy Church Of God, but that took way to long to say, so I just started calling you The Christian Girl."

"Cool." I shuffled my feet.

"Shane really likes you, you know? It took her forever to get over Jenny. It's been a year and she hasn't slept with anyone since. But then you came along." I blushed. I didn't know what to say, of course I was happy [I was ecstatic] but what can you say to that?

"Cool."

---------------------------

As the three of us entered Tina's house I called out, "Heeey, lick her in the front, poke her in the rear!"

"What is with you, Shane, and Papi always saying that?" Alice said in her cute little-girl voice.

"It's the only thing I learned when Shane was trying to teach me to play Poker."

"I know where that went - she said the line and you two ended up fucking."

"Shut up, Alice." I blushed and buried my head in Shane's shoulder. I could feel her winking at Alice while simultaneously patting my back affectionately.

------------------------

Halfway through the game, Angelica stumbled through the hall, into the living room, rubbing her eyes, calling out, "Mama. Mommy!"

"What's wrong, baby?" Bette asked, standing up and walking over to Angelica.

"I don't feel well. My tummy hurts."

"Okay, here, I'll give you some medicine, okay?" Bette led Angelica into the kitchen, and gave Tina a look that said, _I think it's time to wrap it up._

"How's little Max?" the raven-haired girl asked when Bette came back downstairs. We were hurriedly finishing the game, and everyone looked up when the girl said that.

"Regina's fine, thank you for asking, Kimmy." Bette smiled a sharp little smile.

"They look just alike." Kimmy noted, and Max nudged her a little, his mouth set in a grim line.

"Max . . . has a baby?" I asked, eyebrow wrinkled in confusion.

"Yes, he had one before the surgery." Helena answered.

"Huh?" I turned my head to the side, totally lost.

"Max is a Transgender. He was female, but made the transition to male." Shane whispered in my ear. And even though I was surprised [I mean, Max just looked like a guy, not someone who had really had boobs and stuff before] it made me a little hot that Shane was whispering to me. I nodded, smiled at Max, then placed my hand in Shane's lap, inching closer up as the seconds ticked away. Finally, _finally_, the game was over, and everyone pulled out blankets in a group effort to get everyone a place to sleep.

Tina and Bette went up to their room, Kit and Helena slept on opposite ends of the couch, and Max/Kimmy and Tasha/Alice kept us company on the floor.

It had to have been midnight when she woke me up. The baby was crying somewhere in the distance, and the light was on at the end of the hallway. Everything else in the house was completely silent. Not even a mouse to scuttle across the floor squeaking. Just . . . sleep.

Shane led me to the bathroom and we carefully locked it. Or at least I thought we did. Hands grabbing at each other, whispered moans washing into our ears, Shane holding me up against the wall, my legs around her hips. The two of us moving in synchronicity, my hands pulling at fistfuls of her hair. Almost, almost. "Sha -"

The door swung open. If I hadn't have been caught so off-guard, I'd have slipped off of Shane and dashed out of the room in embarrassment. Instead we stayed poised there, Shane's hand down my pajama bottoms and my mouth frozen in between the _a_ and the _n_ of her name, our heads, tilted against each other, swiveled to the unlocked door.

_Cough_. A weak little Alice stood there, her eyes as wide as half-dollar coins, hands still on the doorknob.

"Oops."

**I have no clue what Max will name his baby, but I thought Regina was kinda cute, so I used it. Feel free to replace it with whatever Max really names the baby. Oh, and, Max has shaved off all that stupid werewolf - I mean facial h****air - and only has a teeny lil patch of hair like he did in the beginning of Season 5. Yahooey.**


	8. Prayers For Bobby

"Mmm." I yawned, stretched. Regretted that I didn't call Daddy last night. Looked at the Angel sleeping beside me and let the regret slip away.

I turned on the television, put it on mute. Switched on Lifetime. Daddy said that was Mommy's favorite channel.

Somewhere in the middle of a cheesy winter love story, Shane woke up. She rubbed her eyes and commenced to staring at me like I was slaughtering a pig in our bed. \

Did I just say "our" bed? _Ohmygod_!

"Why are you watching Lifetime?"

"Oh, there's this movie I want to see, _Prayers for Bobby_. It comes on in a half hour, if you wanna watch it with me."

"Okay, sure. As long as it's nothing like this one." Shane pointed at the screen and disappeared into the kitchen for a few minutes, then came back with a big bowl of popcorn. She sat it in the middle of the bed, then crawled back in beside me. I popped a kernel into my mouth. I turned up the volume. The last bit of the cheesy winter love movie _would_ be typical. Happily Ever After ending, where the guy gets the girl and blah, blah, blah.

_Prayers for Bobby_ started. I was pretty much digging my nails into Shane's arms, sobbing by the middle. I felt so . . . close to Bobby. Familiar with his situation, I mean. Minus the suicide part. Shane kissed the top of my head several times in an attempt to comfort me. She pulled me into her lap and cradled me.

During the last ten minutes I piped up, with a desperate need for her to know just who I was. Finally let her in on the secret of why a 20 year old girl was still living at home with her father.

"Shane? My Mommy's dead."

"Huh?"

"That's why I still live with my Dad. My Mommy died when she gave birth to me, and . . . I feel so guilty that Dad doesn't have anyone else, so I don't have the courage to move out."

Shane didn't say anything until the movie was over. I could practically hear her thinking the whole time, wondering what she could say in a situation like this. As the credits rolled, she raised the remote and clicked off the tv.

"It's not your fault, you know."

"But if I hadn't been born - "

"Lucy, it didn't matter if it was you who she gave birth to or Jimi Hendrix. It would have happened. That's just the fact of life. It wasn't your fault."

"Now I see why Alice calls you Yoda." I placed a kiss on her forehead, then curled up in her arms and fell asleep.

**A short chapter because it is time again in my dismal life to pen a new schedule for the coming school year. Wish me luck!**


	9. Bags By The Door

Not everything was bliss and happiness. The first fight was totally unexpected, one small sentence Shane had whispered while going down on me.

"Why don't you tell your father about us?"

I shriveled away from her, skittering up against the headboard. She tried to encase herself over me, arms on both side, trying to squeeze out what she said. She shook her head, as if to say: 'oh well, let's just fuck.' My face contorted into a disgusted frown and I pushed her off of me.

"I'm done. I can't do this anymore, Shane."

"What?"

"I can't have you insisting that I tell my father. I can't hurt him. And you just don't understand that. He's been there for me, ever since my mom died. And I know how bad it would be if I told him. He might never talk to me again!"

Shane softened, melted like butter on a hot summer day, and I almost felt bad about snapping at her. Keyword: Almost. I slipped out of bed and pulled on my clothes. I left her house and didn't come back for an entire week. I stayed at my father's, and he seemed pleased that I'd actually spent more than ten seconds in his company.

* * *

Shane had been getting antsy for a few days, calling me, begging me to come back home, and I had the feeling something bad was going to happen.

"Tom showed up at Max's. They're getting back together."

"Great. So Max just dumped his girlfriend like a hot potato? Typical guy." I liked Max, he was nice and funny, but it irritated me that he could do that.

Shane was silent on the other end.

"I guess it isn't that simple, is that what you were going to tell me?" Rage grew inside of me. "Because Max and Tom love each other, it's okay for them to hurt people as if nothing else in the world matters?"

"Look, that isn't what I called for. I was going to say, if they can get back together, why can't we?" I was trying not to fall into her trap. Trying. Trying. But her voice was making me eager to crawl back into her bed.

* * *

Needless to say, I went back to her a few days later.

* * *

I was fed up with her bullshit and lies by our third fight.

I accused her of cheating. She was acting all sneaky and didn't want sex at all anymore.

She always cried out "Shay!" in her sleep.

Whoever this skanky Shay girl was, I was going to sniff her out and kill her.

Shane was mine. MINE.


End file.
